Traveling… If you believe everything you see on Facebook, it’s all about glitter and glamour and if you take Instagram’s word for it, we’re all supermodels carying around a curling iron and a pair of heels in our backpack to always be ready for the perfect selfie. Apparently, looking perfect has become more important than enjoying the experience.
But it seems it’s not only looks that count… And for once, I’m afraid that’s not even a good thing… A while ago I received hate mail for writing an honest story about a
shitty not-so-perfect experience because “you shouldn’t write things like that, or people are never going to want to go there…” (That’s the censored version…) Apparently, travel bloggers are supposed to be ‘selling the dream’, NOT telling people about their real experiences.
Now I’m not one to voluntarily shatter people’s dreams into pieces, and I apologize in advance, but I HAVE to call bullshit! Let me tell you a secret…
Traveling ISN’T always perfect and
sometimes most of the time your average traveler DOESN’T look like a superstar while they’re trying to keep it together at 38°C and 95% of humidity after being scammed for the 17th time that day…
I’m just saying…
So here’s a list of my least glamourous moments on the road. Yes, you’re allowed to laugh at me…
That time I managed to jump off my bike just in time to avoid fainting in the middle of the street
What did I just tell you about keeping it together at 38°C and 95% of humidity? Add a bike tour on the hottest moment of the day and the result is me lying UNDER the bike on the side of the road and my boyfriend throwing 2 liters of water in my face… Luckily I didn’t spend 2 hours using my curling iron that morning…
That time I DIDN’T manage to jump off my bike just in time to avoid fainting in the middle of the street
Well to be honest, I wasn’t actually on a bike or in the middle of the street that time, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t look any more elegant just because it happens in a bus station full of people instead…
That time I tried to save a bird’s life… and *spoiler alert* failed
Koh Chang, Thailand,
11 am early morning, I was having breakfast next to the water when suddenly this guy starts running after a waterbird, trying to kill it by throwing stones at it… I was sitting on some kind of pier and – except for risking my own life jumping off the several meters high balcony – saw no possibility to go smack that bastard up in even reach the water, so I had to be creative and come up with something else… Don’t ask me why, but screaming like a crazed woman somehow seemed the best thing to do… Do I need to spell out what happened next? The guy didn’t give a shit, the bird still died and other people in the restaurant started making phone calls – probably to the closest mental institution…
#TimeToGetOutOfHere #AtLeastITried #NotSureThey’llHaveMeBackInThatRestaurantButWhoCares
That time I lost my
shitpatience with this disrespectful tourist in China
When visiting a Buddhist temple, the least you can do seems to be – at least to me – cover up and adapt to local habits. Unfortunately, not everybody seems to agree… So there I stood in my anything-but-sexy almost knee-long shorts, sweating my ass off in the scarf I’d wrapped around my shoulders – aka not being glamourous AT ALL – when this woman dressed in shorts not even long enough to cover up hers – ass that is – starts making a scene and insulting the man at the entrance because she’s asked to wear a – probably stinky – scarve they propose to lend her at the reception, followed by an attempt to try to get people to pitty her because “she didn’t know”…
No need to go into all the nasty details but things like “How about you check the introduction about the country you’re visiting in your f-ing guidebook instead of heading straight to the section about the best bars and nightclubs to hang around all night showing off your ass” MIGHT have been said…
If I survived a day looking like this when visiting the Royal Palace in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, I don’t see how anyone else couldn’t also…
That other time I lost my
shitpatience in China
… was at the Great Wall of China and you can read all about it here.
All those times I actually TRIED to be glamourous but – well – kinda failed…
OK your turn now! Tell me all about your least glamourous moments in the comments so that I can have a laugh, too!! 🙂
UPDATE: Getting attacked by a monkey or going out for dinner with a guy who’s wearing hotel slippers? Yep, it all happened in the mean time! Check out part 2 of this article for more (not so) glamourous moments on the road!