“Where you from?”, the girl suddenly asks me.
She must be about 15 and she and her friend can’t stop giggling every time they look at me.
I’m on my way from the Great Wall of China to Beijing. The bus is packed and people are standing in the aisle. I’ve waited for almost 3 hours to get on it, because there were so many people and not enough busses. The space between seats is too short for my long European legs and my knees are starting to hurt. Trying to put at least one leg in the aisle, I accidentally kick her.
I apologize, she smiles, and instantly pops the question, almost as if she’s been waiting for an excuse to talk to me. It seems like the most basic question ever, those 3 words simply asking where I come from.
But it’s not. Not for her.
“From Belgium”, I say.
Silence… Knowing Belgium fits about 300 times into China, I can’t blame her for not knowing it.
“It’s next to Germany.”
Still nothing…
“France? … Paris? … United Kingdom? …”
Her eyes keep getting bigger and bigger.
“Europe?”
Suddenly, a spark of hope in her eyes. She starts to smile, moving her arms from excitement.
She nearly screams: “America?!?” She sounds as if she’s won the lottery… I can’t bring myself to breaking her heart.
“Yeeeeaaaaah, that’s it!!!”, I reply, trying to be as excited as she is…
From earlier conversations with Chinese people during my trip, I know there’s not much use in trying to explain. Somehow I know she won’t believe me. It’ll be too hard for her to grasp. Belgium, France, Germany and even Europe don’t exist in the world she’s learned about and the last thing her teachers try to teach her is asking questions. The only thing she gets to see on the front page of the paper or what’s left of the internet are stories about the greatness of the party and how ‘traitors’ are immediately taken care of.
So why tell her? She’ll just keep on staring at me with those big eyes that make me feel so uncomfortable. And probably her, too. But my discomfort is not the only reason. My enthousiastic me wants to try, but I don’t even know if I have the right. What’s the point in presenting the world to someone who’ll never ever have the chance to discover it?
What’s the use in creating a dream that can never become a reality? And who am I to do that to her?
It’s at that moment that I realize how damn lucky I am. At her age, I started discovering my own dreams and I’ve realized so many of them by now. It wasn’t always easy but I did it, and I still have so many that I know will come true one day. My dreams, no matter how big, have always been within my reach. And that’s exactly what makes me keep on chasing them. It’s not having dreams that makes me happy, it’s knowing I can realize them. Would I chase them as hard if I knew they were an utopia? Wouldn’t it just make me unhappy in the end?
So I let it be, I let her believe Belgium is right next to America…
Her world might be so much smaller than mine, but at least it stays within her reach…
How about you? Would you have told her? And what are your dreams? Let’s talk about it in the comments!
51 Comments
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That’s extremely sad what you’ve written but that’s also very, very true. I’ve also had some similar experiences, not really connected with geography, but more with e.g. equality or women’s rights. At the beginning, I would begin a deeper discussion, but seeing a blank stare on someone else’s face discouraged me from that. And also, the question if I’m entitled to do that, to say things which will most likely not be true for someone else for a long time, and if yes, what good things it may do..
I totally agree Kinga… And wether it’s about geography or rights we take for granted, I think it all comes down to the same question. The question is: are we allowed to create an impossible dream for other people – just because it makes us feel better?
Thanks for leaving this beautiful comment!!
[…] finally got on a bus after almost 3 hours of waiting, and than this happened… It didn’t take more than a couple of minutes, but it made the whole trip […]
Another interesting read my dear! Moments like this often make me realise how much of a tiny dot we are on this huge planet.
Thanks for stopping by hon! They do make us feel so small, don’t they?
Wow! You’re absolutely right! I feel super blessed & lucky I’m able to travel freely 🙂
Thanks Ashleigh! It’s often the tiny things that make us realize how lucky we are!
Maybe her English wasn’t that great and she could pop the question? I think I would have left it at that too. But this is the reason why I bring postcards and little trinckets from my country. And a picture from my family.
That’s a great idea Naomi! 🙂
I’m not sure what I would have done, but I think I would have done what you did since she seemed so excited about it!
Yeah she was, I was just unable to let her down…
Interesting! I’m not sure what I would do. I didn’t realize the Chinese didn’t know anything about Europe at all.
They know so little about the world in general. And the sad thing is: it’s not because they don’t care or because they’re not interested – you should have seen how they were all staring at us because we were ‘different’. It’s because they only have acces to the information their government WANTS them to know – which seems to be very little!
I remember when I lived in Beijing, my Co-workers always ignored the fact that I am from Germany. I admit it was a bit confusing, because I went to University in the US and lived there before and after my time in the US, but they would always introduce me as Maria from the US. Now I might know why. Maybe they just had no idea what or where Germany was! You are absolutely right though. It is these moments, that we realize how incredibly lucky we are to live as freely as we do. I am so very lucky to have traveled as much as I have and to have those memories forever with me. But once you start traveling, you always want more. It’s almost like opening a can of worms. Maybe the people who don’t have a chance to see the world are even happier, because they are more content with what they have?
It’s a cliché but I guess it’s true: the more you have, the more you want… But than as I said, as long as your dreams are within your reach, it’s all fine in terms of personal hapiness. But what if they’re not and you dream about it anyway? Than it all becomes one big dissapointment, and how do you manage to be happy with that? Thanks so much for your great comment!!
I’m not sure what I’d have replied. When people ask me where I’m from, I often say Brittany and not France (because France = Paris) so… America is a big step! Hard call! Is it really worth trying to make things right?! You made her day letting her think she met an American girl, that cannot be a bad thing 🙂 And yes, indeed, it is often that traveling reminds me how lucky I am to have received an open-minded and rich education…
Things like these really make us humble and say thank you, don’t they? 🙂
Ha. I grew up in Belgium as an American citizen and, when I moved back stateside, I found (sadly) that most Americans have no idea where Belgium is either. Not a reflection on our tiny home country, rather the realization that people are really missing out on travel!
That’s really sad, but I like the underlying message here that recognizes not everyone has equal opportunities to pursue their dreams. What’s sadder is that so many people who DO have opportunities have an equally poor sense of geography and believe ridiculous things (Spain is next to Mexico, Mauritius is the same as Mauritania, Brazilians speak Spanish as their primary language…) without being embarrassed when corrected.
Yes I do admit that’s quit sad too… 🙂
I had a similar experience in Bali but for me, my answer to “Where you from?” was Panama. They had no idea what to do with that response.
Mexico? Colombia? Blank stare. But I finally got a nod of recognition when I asked, “South America?” His eyes lit up. “Aaah, Florida!”
I had this exact experience in the Dominican Republic. When I said Australia they said where? – Good on you for just going with the flow.
Wow, this is a tough reality but it is reality. Sad to hear, but I understand where you are coming from. We are all dealt our hands in life. I am grateful for mine as well and the ability to travel and gain a greater awareness. Great post, I’ll be thinking about this one after I post this comment
Thanks for this lovely comment Jessica, you make my day!! 🙂
Thanks for asking a question to discuss! t’s interesting how much of a wonderful dream America is to so many people. They glamorize it to so many people.
It might be interesting to carry a map around with you and pull it out in times like this, so you can connect with the locals and show them where your from and be proud of it. Show your pride and help her learn about the amazing place you come from! I’m from Alaska, which is the U.S, but I love telling people facts about it and showing them where it is!
Yeah that’s a great idea! Thanks Susanna!!
Hahah this is hilarious! My family is originally from Sudan and Egypt. Half the time I get “where is Sudan?” and the other half: “Aren’t people from Sudan black?” It’s always fun to hear reactions when you’re from a lesser known country. That being said, you’re right – we are very lucky that we have had the opportunity to learn and explore at an early age!
Hahaha sounds funny 🙂 And yes, you’re right, we’re SO lucky!! 🙂
This may very well have been a language barrier, too. Mandarin has words for all of the places you said. However, I do know what you mean. In my travels it does seem that knowledge of different countries is very limited to what is popularly shown in American Hollywood movies. I am from America but often I have to say, “Florida.” It’s always a nice surprise when someone knows something about Alabama like the time I was in the Bahamas & a man sang “Oh Susanna” to me! 😀
To be fair Americans aren’t much better! I’m live in Birmingham, UK. When I got asked by someone in Florida while on holiday, their response was ‘Where in London is that? Is it near Buckingham Palace? Do you know the Queen?” haha x
Hahaha that’s funny but mostly really really sad… Ignorance is a dangerous thing… But I think the difference between Americans and other people from western countries and countries like China, is that for the Chinese it isn’t a ‘choice’, it’s not a lack of interest. It’s their government that just doesn’t WANT people to know…
There is a language barrier here. She might know where Belgium is if you were able to ask her in Mandarin. Unfortunately you don’t speak Mandarin and neither did she understand much English.
And it can also be a result of personal interest too. If I grab a random person from any European countries, he/she might not know where North Korea is. Would you think that’s sad as well?
I think you need to read the article again… it’s not about whether she knew Belgium or not. Have a lovely day!!
[…] I’m from Belgium, right next to America | Other stories from China […]
I think your post is a bit condescending, especially as she’s a teenage girl. When it’s someone fro the US with a college degree in their 30s or 40s without any basic sense of geography, ok, I also wonder. But how well do you know the geography of China? Can you name the capital of Hunan province? The name of the first Taiwanese president? Did you learn about Asian history and geography in school? Can you point out Moldova on a map, or Kaliningrad, or the Aland islands?
I think it’s also worth mentioning that the Chinese names for countries often sound completely different – my partner is Chinese and fluent in English, Mandarin and Cantonese and often can’t remember the names of countries in Chinese, because they are so different and rarely used – and if, in written Chinese, not spoken.
I’m very sorry you understood it that way because it wasn’t my intention AT ALL… This post is by no means about how stupid I think this girl was, it’s about how sad I am for her for being born in a country where she’ll never have the chances I have in my life. About how her government probably doesn’t WANT her to know where Europe is and isn’t telling her half the things we are taught in school. The reason she doesn’t know isn’t because she’s ignorant or stupid, it’s because nobody’s telling her the whole truth…
Ive lived and worked in China, temporarily in education. As already mentioned above, language is the first issue.
The point about the government is a bit narrow. It’s all about the big picture. The Chinese government won’t hide Europe, or any other place of the world. It’s also a matter of focus. Chinese education, especially in primary school, has a higher focus on Chinese and Mathematics.
Meeting that girl is of course no coincidence. I’ve met plenty of people of different ages who did not know Belgium nor Europe. For them, their first guess to any English speaking person is America 🙂 .
But I do like this personal view on life and dreams.
That is the best travel blog article I have read in a long time 🙂
PS: I guess you were right about not attempting to explain.
It’s completely possible that a lack of geographical knowledge was the problem here, but after having been an English teacher in China to students from ages 2-17, I would venture to guess this was more of a language problem. She probably has the question “Where are you from?” well rehearsed, but isn’t prepared to process an English answer other than “America.” Unless she was from a very rural area, if you had communicated with her in Chinese, I would be willing to put money on guessing she would know where “Fa-Guo” (France) is, or rather that it is a Western country.
Untnrfuoately, I can’t pretend to understand ICZN – but the implication of your post is that anyone can arbitrarily and unilaterally revise existing, stable, widely accepted, and phylogenetic consistent taxonomy, without any consultation in the scientific community, so long as their revision follows ICZN. This is quite remarkable, if you think about it!
My boyfriend gets this all the time when he says he’s from England. Most people just seem to assume he meant America because I’m American. It’s amazing how strongly the government affects the world views of its citizens. That’s somethings I don’t think many people in western societies think about.
[…] once again how relative dreams are, and that we all strive in exactly the same way to achieve ours. Dreams don’t need to be as […]
[…] wild or that I’ll witness the results of the Vietnam war with my own eyes. I doubt I’ll meet people who don’t even know where Europe is or others that are so stuck in communism, the simple fact of asking them “why” is something […]
I am from Taiwan, and many people in the world actually don’t know where is Taiwan, and they often mixed it up with Thailand, so I am quite used to people not knowing where my country is. (except Chinese would know, of course … we have a complicated history with China.)
I’d probably pull up an offline map on my phone and show it to her or try to explain without sounding like I am patronizing her.
Yes, being from Belgium I’m obviously used to people not knowing my country 🙂 But in most countries you can just explain, in most countries they don’t know it just because it’s so tiny. In China I felt like it was a whole other story. Somehow it seems as if people aren’t ‘allowed’ to know a lot about the world. Very weird for me as a European and difficult to know how to react to it!!
There’s certainly limited knowledge of the outside world in China. They have until recently been so isolated and focussed on their own issues/world and indeed so scared of “foreigners”. I enjoy reading your stories.
I get the point that you’re making but I do think it’s important to remember that China is a HUGE place and schools are often spending time learning about Chinese/ Asian geography, politics and history. Sometimes the latter two are a bit skewed but they definitely know the geography of their own area, while I’m sure most Europeans couldn’t point to Chengdu or Harbin on a map. My stepmum is Chinese and she’s actually got excellent Chinese geography – we all learn about what is closest to us after all. It may well be a language thing too, America is such a globally recognised word whereas everywhere in Europe is not. I’d really reccomend the book ‘wild swans’ to learn about Chinese history and culture and understand why the country is like it is today, it’s a great read 🙂
Heya Lily….
When will you travel to Paris?
I love to read all your stories! Waiting for more 🙂
This was a very informative article. Thanks for sharing such lovely thoughts.