It was a day full of emotions. One of those where all the reasons why I travel are reunited. They all seem to gather in one place, in that one particular moment in time. It was a day of big lessons in humanity. A day where I learned once again to be humble and say thank you. Not even because I realized how lucky I am for all that I have and all that I get to do, but because I got to see genuine warmth in the eyes of people who have nothing. I saw genuine smiles on the faces of children with no future, genuine beauty in some of the most ugly aspects of life. It made me sad, it made me angry and it broke my heart.
Damn you Mekong, you broke my heart…
And to say we almost took the speed boat…
Actually, it’s even worse: we almost decided not to do this at all… When we planned our trip through Vietnam, we soon realized we’d have to choose: either go see the magnificent terraced rice-fields in Sapa, or sail down the Mekong and spend 2 days in Cambodia to see Phnom Penh and Angkor. I would have liked to see Sapa, but I don’t regret one minute having picked the other option.
We start our day at the landing stage in Chau Duc, where we drove by bus the day before from Ho Chi Minh. We’d already stopped at a place where they make rice paper and at a crocodile farm. I guess there’s no need to tell you these were not highlights of our trip (*) and I have to admit we start the day preparing ourselves for the next Vietnamese tourist trap. We get in small boats 2 by 2 and the women rowing the boats guide us around the floating villages.
(*) I don’t think I’ve told you this before, but I refuse to participate in any form of animal exploitation (elephant riding, tiger cuddling, …). I’ve also been a vegetarian for almost 20 years now.
Confusion sets in as we glide over the water. On one hand, this is people’s whole life. A small house boat on the highly polluted water with some pigs or ducks in a cage on the side is all they have. A floating grocery store passing by, children jumping from one boat to another in an attempt to keep busy a bit futher. They seem to be living their lives without even noticing we’re there. Only the smallest children stop and wave at us as we pass. Only minutes later, we stop at a so-called authentic place where they make scarves. Let me just assure you none of the people living on the boats are wearing scarves… Our guide makes us pay tips 3 times and it starts to feel fake.
We try to look past the tourist trap and chose to hold on to the idea that this IS people’s real life. It’s a hard life that doesn’t become easier just because others are exploiting it as a tourist attraction, a way to make money.
After almost 2 hours the biggest part of our group is brought back to the landing stage, but we’re taken to another boat in the middle of the river. The boat’s already 3/4 full, only us and 1 other couple get on it at this point. A woman collects our passports for the Cambodian visa application and leaves on another boat before we even have time to worry about her taking off with our passports. ‘It fast’, the man on the boat tells us.
Until now we’ve been in a larger part of the Mekong, but soon we approach a narrower canal. The landscape changes, it somehow gets more intimate. Bamboo trees and other tropical vegetation define the shore. Our boat is the only one in the area.
Slowly we glide over the Mekong river, rocked by the water for hours, getting tired but refusing to fall asleep. It’s too beautiful and too ugly at the same time to miss even a minute of it. Lush tropical vegetation in stark contrast to tiny rickety houses. A woman using her ‘toilet’ (read board with a hole in it and some panels fixed around it, not even high enough to cover up her upper body) right above the river as we pass, a man washing his cows in it a bit further down the stream.
People are working like animals on the fields, each and every one of them looking up to wave at us. They have the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen. Children dressed in rags running along the shore in an attempt to follow our boat, probably still too young to be dreaming of jumping on it and sailing with us to better places.
After 2,5 hours we arrive at a building in the middle of the river. We are told to get out of the boat and to sit down, without any further information. We wait for 1,5 hours before the passport lady calls us and gives us back our passports, including our Cambodian visa. According to the tour schedule, the trip continues in a ‘fast boat’ from here and in 2 hours we arrive in Phnom Penh. The boat that’s waiting outside, however, is anything but fast. We’re all packed together and the hard wooden seats are so high my feet don’t even touch the floor.
The boat trip takes 4 hours – with a quick stop at the Cambodian border – and is followed by a 1,5 hours’ bus ride. The views along this part of the trip are similar to what we saw in Vietnam. Our hearts break over and over again.
We arrive in Phnom Penh at 7 pm instead of 3.30 pm. It’s another rip off but we’re not even angry. A day like this is worth it.
We get to our room, exhausted. I sit down and cry. These are the moments where you realize what life should be about. It’s not about possessions or achievments. It’s not about trying to take all you can get and ‘have it all’. It’s about starting with what you have and making the best out of it. About being thankful and trying to be happy, even if you have little.
Today I heard all kind of negative comments about this trip, and about Vietnam in general. Some called it a waste of time, I call it a magnificent human adventure. Some said it’s a tourist trap, I say it’s a life lesson.
I go to bed a better version of myself, thankful for this invaluable lesson. I feel like I’m the richest girl in the world.
Thank you Mekong, for breaking my heart…
48 Comments
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I have never been to Vietnam or Cambodia, but I think this kind of experience is what travel is all about: to see how people live, to reassess our view over our own lives, to allow something we are watching to become something real. A tourist trap can be just that, but as you prove here, it can be a lot more than a photo op – I think it’s great that you managed to gain so much from this river experience
How wonderful! We did something similar in North Laos crossing the border over to North Thailand. But when we were in Cambodia/Vietnam (April time), the Mekong had dried up significantly that there weren’t any scheduled boats to take along it! Living through you on this one 🙂
It’s so sad to think about the way so many of the people in the world live (and it can be a difficult thing to encounter firsthand), but it’s good to be reminded how lucky those of us are who get to live in the “first world,” and are able to travel to places like Vietnam or wherever else we want to go. I also wonder what kind of ignorant person would call a trip to Vietnam “a waste of time.” That same person probably spends hours sitting at home watching television. It’s never a waste of time to see and experience more of the world.
Some people only seem to care about the destination and forget to enjoy the journey. That’s too bad because many of the journey’s I’ve made were amongst the greatest moments of my trips!
I did a Mekong River tour in a group quite a few years ago and it was a good experience. I found a lot of Cambodia and Vietnam sad but beautiful. Cities were worse for me because of the obvious gap in wealth and poverty. Some people are rich and others are desperately poor. I saw some older victims of war and oppression. It was such a hard but worthwhile experience. I’m glad you got so much out of your trip.
Enjoyed your narrative. I’ve been on many of these “adventures” where nothing really goes as smoothly or wonderfully as described. You’ve highlighted one of the most important points of travel…your attitude decides how you feel about the experience. Of course, travel horror-stories are also fun to recount 😀
You bet they are hahaha 🙂
Yes, the don’t really explain to you what will REALLY happen on your tour kind of tours. Some turn out amazing others not so much. Each leaves you with more than you knew before whether good or bad.
Definitely feels like I am blessed. As fun as it sounds, I can see the reality that you have painted here. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks Ami, that’s a huge compliment!
What an excellent article and photos are your Mekong Experience. My son and I just returned from Vietnam and had a similar experience on 2 separate River tours. We are so fortunate where we live and with travel, must take and accept the good with the bad.
“We get to our room, exhausted. I sit down and cry. These are the moments where you realize what life should be about. It’s not about possessions or achievments. It’s not about trying to take all you can get and ‘have it all’. It’s about starting with what you have and making the best out of it. About being thankful and trying to be happy, even if you have little.”
^ I loved this. I had a similar experience in Bangkok. What you describe really is what traveling is all about – to see into the windows of how others live around the world. Beautiful narrative.
Thanks Shannon, comments like this make me so happy! <3
Wow, this made me cry twice while reading! Incredible. I felt the same way when I lived in rural Southern Spain – people there can’t afford name brand clothes or expensive cars, and no one feels bad about it. They are happy with big smiles and living a better life than anyone in New York or Los Angeles could possibly dream of, because people who realize that life is more important than money have already won. Living in Southern Spain changed me, just as visiting Vietnam and Cambodia changed you. And this is why we travel and share our experiences, because we need to encourage others to go to these off-the-beaten-road type places and see what “real” life really is! Excellent article and extremely well written! <3
OK I think this is officially the best day in my travel blogging life! I made someone cry yaaaaaay!! 🙂 OK I’m obviously not on a mission to make everybody sad, but I think it’s important we let ourselves be touched by this kind of situations. Thanks so much for this comment!!!! <3
Great quality pictures. This breaks my heart as well, and this is the same type of experience I had in Kenya when I went. Travel isn’t always beautiful but it is educational and necessary. Thank you for writing this article!
Thanks Gabby, you’re so right!! Thanks for leaving a comment!
What an experience! It’s great to read that you were able to see beyond your own uncomfortable situation and still see it as a ‘magnificent human adventure’. Love this expression, too 🙂
I like how you talk about ‘your own uncomfortable situation’, because it actually is uncomfortable passing by these people like some kind of visitor that’s just looking right into their intimacy… Thank you!!
ese pitijopillo que sale en la pestaña me suena… sabes que es la reptasenreción gráfica de mi misma?hay que ver lo lejos que vuela el joÃo bicho, no sabes la de veces que me lo he encontrado por ahÃ…Besitos.
That’s not what the Travel Channel wants to show you, but it’s an experience all right. It’s also a part of traveling. As soon as you leave the peachy world of tourist resorts, you see real people’s lives. And that’s not exactly glossy travel brochures in many parts of the world…
It’s often anything but what you see in glossy brochures, but sooooo much more rewarding…
Thanks for your article. It is extremely unfortunate that over the last several years, the travel industry has already been able to to tackle terrorism, SARS, tsunamis, bird flu, swine flu, and also the first ever true global recession. Through it all the industry has really proven to be powerful, resilient along with dynamic, locating new strategies to deal with difficulty. There are always fresh issues and chance to which the business must once again adapt and react.
What an expirience! I’ve never done anything like it!
I had a similar experience and really think you put this into words perfectly!
Thanks so much Julie!!
Wow, what a beautiful adventure – discovering Vietnam, but also yourself. I love your posts Lili, they are so full of heart. Thanks for sharing
Aaauuuwh thanks Maria, you made me smile!! 🙂
There ‘a no bad experience, just learning experience. I love your passion- filled blog. I just suggest you get into your main topic faster. I’m in a hurry tonight. I have about 10 minutes . 🙁
Hehe yes writing short articles is not my strong… 🙂 Once I start, you never know when I’m going to end! 🙂
[…] guys, it’s time for something a bit different. No weird Chinese habits, crying on the Mekong or pictures of me not looking sexy at all in a swimsuit today, just some good old (vegetarian) […]
This sounds just like something I would fall into… love it.. messy and rewarding despite the surface crap. Thanks.
Thank you Donnae, I feel exactly the same! Look past the crap on the surface for the best experiences! 🙂
[…] My favorite things to do in Vietnam | How the Mekong broke my heart […]
[…] to find out, because that’s not what this article is about… If you want a hint, read this article or this […]
Hi Liesbeth, Just finished reading your Mekong post which was both moving and eye-opening. We’ll definitely think hard about what we’ve already planned in Vietnam and Cambodia during our whistlestop round the world trip leaving UK this September.Everyone wants to see the *true* side of life in each country they visit…but nobody wants to be ripped off. I guess it’s hard work finding that right balance. Thanks for sharing this. Please follow us on thetimeofourlives.net for news of our trip preparations and experiences.
its like that in Nepal too. Its the only place I can shed a tear for!
Every time I read of your stories I think this is someone with whom I could be friends. Your insight to the people and places is practical kind and heartfelt. When I travel to places where the economic prospects for local people are so few I always realize how very fortunate I am merely in my place of birth. I love seeing people who find the joy and happiness in there space no matter how meager. It reminds me to keep things in perspective. Happiness can be found anywhere we choose it to be. Safe travels.
Have not been there yet, and would love to go. It is sad seeing how some people have to or choose to, live. Thanks for your posts.
Thanks for reading and commenting Di! It really makes me sad, too!!
Very nice post. I live in Cambodia, one block from the Mekong and I have made a similar trip. Well done.
Riding a boat in Combodia is really great experience. Lili explained in detail about this trip. Thank you!
Hey, nice article. Was planning to visit Cambodia, this will be of a lot help.
Even I wanna have a same exposure ….!!!! I hope you must have learned a lot form this small voyage.