Soooooo, a few weeks ago I was contacted by news.com.au – only THE biggest Australian news website, FYI, so reeeeaaaally no big deal, AHEM – asking me if I’d allow them to publish my ‘(Not so) glamourous moments on the road‘ article. A few woohoooooos, a ridiculous looking dance around my kitchen table and a couple of emails later we had a deal and now there’s a picture of my fat ass in a bathing suit and a yellow rubber ring in a VERY unelegant position on their website just waiting for all of Australia to see it… Yep, you gotta love that glam life…
OK OK maybe not ALL of Australia, but let me remind you which picture it was and I’m sure you’ll understand my concern…
See?!? Anyway, I’m ‘glad’ to announce that over the past 3 months I’ve once again been so clumsy that I have enough inspiration for part 2 of the article, and if I continue like this, I’m pretty sure I’ll soon be able to turn it into an ongoing series. You know, like some bloggers do a monthly round up of all the best places they’ve been to? Well I’ll have mine full of the best places to faint in the middle of the street, fall off your motorbike and get attacked by monkeys.
So enjoy my latest (un)glamourous moments on the road and please share yours in the comments! And yes, you are once again allowed to laugh at me all you want!
That time I fell straight on my face in Bali
I’d just spent a few days all by myself on a quiet little island in Indonesia, and to say I was feeling totally relaxed would be an understatement. I was about to take the boat back to Bali and already imagining myself elegantly hopping on it with the help of the handsome captain, just slightly wetting my feet because the boat boarded offshore, and a fresh breeze going through my hair whilst softly gliding over the water.
A few minutes later and BAM, reality struck… The boat looked so shabby the thought of ‘now might be a good time to call my family to tell them I love them‘ spontaneously crossed my mind, the ‘captain’ was probably not even old enough to legally drive it, the windows were closed the whole time with no aircon so instead of a fresh breeze there was basically just a lot of sweat, and the sea was so wild that by the time I’d even approached the boat I was soaked up until my waist. And that was the glamourous part of the trip…
Arriving back on Bali there were two ways to get off the beach: climbing over big rocks for about 10m or walking over the beach towards the stairs that were located 20m from there. Seeing I was carrying my big backpack on my back and a smaller one in the front, climbing over the rocks wasn’t really an option (trust me, I tried anyway, it was also VERY glam…). So off I went over the beach.
Sounds easy enough, don’t you think?!?
Well, think again…
I was walking carefully to avoid falling over the ropes that attached the other boats to the shore when suddenly… a big wave… boats and ropes moving around like crazy… my foot gets stuck… I trip but manage to stay up… I’m starting to think ‘phew, this could have ended in a much less elegant manner‘ when suddenly… the full weight of my backpack hits my neck and BAM…
My knee hits the sand… my head gets pushed all the way down… and before I even realize it, there I am on my knees squeezed in between my 2 backpacks, with my face on the ground and my ass up in the air…
That time my feet went forward but the rest of my body didn't in Belgium
A couple of weeks earlier I’d received a gift voucher for a box of Belgian chocolats. Now if you say ‘Belgian chocolats’, all I hear is ‘jummie jummie jummie’ so it seems needless to say I was quite happy walking out of the shop.
That was, at least, until my bag got stuck behind the door handle, which pulled my whole body backwards while one of my feet – that was already on the slippery carpet – went straight forward…
That time I relied on the weather forecast, also in Belgium
I can only say one thing: when you plan on making a day trip to Bruges and the Belgian weather forecast says the best day of the week is going to be Wednesday… go on Thursday!
I took a grand total of 3 pictures ’cause I was too afraid of drowning my camera, was soaked the whole day – and it was March and freezing! – and don’t even get me started on my hair…
The next day, not a drop of rain in all of Belgium…
That time I got my camera filter stolen by a monkey while his friend/brother/whatever attacked me in Bali
Monkey Forest, Ubud, Indonesia. I was just looking around minding my own business watching some monkeys – well – monkeying around when suddenly one of them came to say hi. Or at least that’s what I thought for a minute or so. Unfortunately it quickly turned out it wasn’t ME he was interested in…
I had no food or drinks in my bag because I knew they can basically smell it and go looking for it. Seeing I don’t agree on feeding animals cookies and other kind of junk or watching them ‘eat’ an empty plastic water bottle, I simply didn’t bring any. So I thought I was safe.
Turned out monkeys don’t just like food… they’re also into photography!
He climbed on me while I was sitting on a bench, turned around a few times on my lap, being all cute and lovable, and before I could do anything, opened my camera bag, took out my ND filter and ran off with it… JUST. LIKE. THAT!!!
While I was trying to kindly convince him to give it back to me (those things are bloody expensive!!!) another one appeared from behind, did two swings around the branch of a tree (OK I might have seen too many movies with monkeys in them), threw himself on me and started biting me in the leg!!! He only ‘bit’ me twice and his teeth never went through my skin but at that point I thought it MIGHT be safer just to buy a new filter…
Sidenote: I never visit places where animals are locked up or made to suffer being used as a tourist attraction but over here, the monkeys can move around freely and the staff does everything to avoid people hurting them or giving them all kinds of food a monkey simply isn’t supposed to eat. There’s instructions everywhere saying what you can and can’t do once inside – and with a bit of common sense you can figure out most of them all by yourself. Some tourists unfortunately are either blind or either real assholes, and I beg you, if you go here, don’t be one (and put away your camera equipment 😉 )!!!
That time I fell off my motorbike on Nusu Lembongan, Indonesia
“Noooooooo worries my friend, me good driver!” I almost believed it myself but the guy from the motorbike rental company clearly didn’t… Maybe I shouldn’t have ignored his eyes full of despair when he saw me driving off but hey, you gotta love a new adventure, right?!?
So off I went on my motorbike, on the tiny roads of Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Ceningan, that you can hardly call well taken care off to say the least… Well at some points you can hardly even call them roads anymore, actually… I miraculously survived a whole day and was on my way home after watching the sunset when suddenly… a lot of sand and small stones on the road, I had to turn,
probably definitely did something stupid, and BAM, there I was, lying under my motorbike with a bleeding knee.
Maybe me not such a good driver after all…
The next day, I fell over that fucking rope… On the same knee, obviously!
That time I had a date with 2 guys at once and 1 of them showed up wearing hotel slippers
OK so before you think that #SomeGirlsHaveAllTheLuck, I have to
dissappoint reassure you: it wasn’t an actual date. I know, #Life’sABitch… But anyway, that’s not the point here!
The point is, for once there was actually nothing wrong with ME! For once, I was looking at least half decent… I’d done my hair, put on a dress and even make-up – that looked good for at least 10 whole minutes after which it turned out to be 45°C in the restaurant and my mascara melted halfway down my cheeks – but again, that’s not the point here! (I have got to learn to stick to the point of my story… or maybe not… Anyway!)
The point is, I had made an effort! The point is, for once I was actually looking pretty glam! AND IT ALL GOT RUINED IN NOT EVEN 2 SECONDS BY A PAIR OF HOTEL SLIPPERS!!!
And you know what?!? I DIDN’T CARE FOR EVEN A SECOND…
Because #WhoNeedsToLookGlamourousWhenTheyCanJustBeLaughing TheirAssOffWithDearFriendsInstead?!?
BTW, I’m not one to kiss and tell so I can’t give you names but you should check out his blog for more funny stories 😉 (Hey, nobody can be mad about a bit of free publicity, right?)
Alright, that’s all for today guys, but as I said, seeing my present state of clumsyness, I’m sure there’ll be more to come soon 🙂 Until then, have fun and remember
Oh God. You’re too funny!
I want to see this. Lol! Good job!
Hahahahaha thanks 🙂 I told you you should have come to Indonesia earlier and join us!! 😀
I think you need to kiss and tell and tell us what happened during the date and whether you kissed the guy with slippers or the other one!! Guys should also know if wearing hotel slippers is a deal breaker for women! And how come you got to go on a double date like that? Sounds like the two on one from the Bachelorette.
Hahahaha girls, I have to disappoint you, it really was just a night out with friends and my friend had literally drowned his only other pair of shoes the night before 🙂 New shoes were bought before going to the restaurant 🙂
But I promise, the day I’ll actually kiss a guy during my travels, you’ll be the first to know! 😉
Hilarious! I want to travel with you after reading these stories, because I thought those clumsy things only happened to me.
Hahaha let’s go! 🙂
A man who wears slippers to a date is my kind of man haha! Comfort first 😉
Hahaha well I’d say ‘let me introduce you’ but I think you already know him 😉 hehehe
Love it! Can’t wait for part three 🙂
I’m constantly working on it! :p
Again, I like your attitude and the way you write… Waiting for more clumsy moments…
However, point for you to take care – This post has taken too long. Please keep writing more regularly …Want to read more of your stories 😀
Thank you so much 🙂 I know, you’re totally right, but I’ve had some difficult months personally (burnout, break-up, …), so blogging wasn’t really my first priority… But I’m gonna be writing much more again from now on, so stay tuned 🙂
Just as funny as the first one! These are fantastic, and I love the idea of making it a regular thing! The lighter side of travel. Loving your blog!
Interesting stories for sure, one of the best things with traveling is all the stories there are to tell afterward. 🙂
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I love the way you can laugh at yourself. And I’d say keep ’em coming, but that means you have to continue to be clumsy and awkward and I’d hate to wish that on anyone! But they do definitely make great stories!
HAHA oh dear I love this post so much! Keeping it real 🙂 These are part of the package, it wouldnt be the same without these little bumps to giggle about later 🙂
Haha I totally agree, these are the moments we laugh about the hardest once we’re back home 🙂
Ha ha, so entertaining! And well done you for getting basically head-hunted by Australian news website, that is really impressive! It doesn’t surprise me though as I love your blog and you are super-funny 🙂
Aaaauuuuwh thanks so much for the compliment, you made my day! 🙂
Thanks for the laugh #sorryforyou 🙂
You’re hilarious! Made my day!
Omg Your Fab… hehehe nice post…
Mate ur an NPC go suck ur mom
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I am so sorry I said that, I agree with you. This website is A M A Z I N G. The destinations have really go to me. On an emotional level. You my G are lad, wagwan to my drillas in the comment section
I love the stories!! I’m so paranoid about monkeys I don’t trust them at all. At least you can laugh about it too 🙂
I want to state that I love, love, love your blog! You are hilarious! It’s often the mis-adventures that make traveling memorable and puts a smile on our faces (after the fact of course). 🙂
Lol.. you really made the day .. 😀
Nice Article Keep It Up.The content is very helpful.
Funny stories. It’s great that you can laugh about it and share them with us. #Keepblogging! 🙂
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Well that was a great description of your travels. I ended up on your blog after reding another couple of guys that have moved to Australia from the UK and your blog came up.
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I did a wet fart.
Visiting Mount Fuji is one of the coolest things to do in Japan. You need to include this visit in your itinerary to Japan! It’s a perfect, painting-like mountain. There are multiple places that you can visit if you want to admire Mount Fuji, namely Lake Kawaguchiko, Lake Yamanaka, Lake Saiko, Lake Motosu and Lake Shoji. One spot that you’ve probably seen on countless of photos is the Chureito Pagoda. From here you have an excellent view of the photogenic pagoda and Mount Fuji as a backdrop. Another fantastic spot is Iyashi no Sato, the site of a former village on the western shores of Lake Saiko. Here they reconstructed the traditional houses with thatched roofs. Another possibility is to visit Mount Fuji between April and May and go to the Fuji Shibazakura Festival, a beautiful flower festival.
If you’re more adventurous, you can even climb the mountain. The official season to do this is between July and September. It’s a sacred mountain, so many people make a pilgrimage to the top. This means it can get pretty busy, and it’s even been called the most climbed peaks in the world!
The picturesque land of Japan is one of the economically leading countries in the world. It is an elongated archipelago of thousands of active volcanic islands in the Pacific Ocean. The Japanese islands vary in climatic conditions within their regions and play host to many endemic species of wildlife. Japan is culturally rich and offers many interesting activities with respect to architecture, art, music, food, lifestyle, and nature. It is the perfect amalgamation of modernization and tradition. Here is a list of the most exhilarating things to do in Japan that would make it the next tourist destination in everyone’s bucket list.
25 Exciting Things To Do In Japan On Your Getaway
Scroll down to find the most thrilling and rejuvenating activities you can engage in while you’re holidaying in Japan with your friends and/or family.
Climb Mount Fuji
A weekend trip to Arashiyama
Cherry Blossom Festival
Explore Nijo Castle
Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Museum
Ise Grand Shrine
Tempozan Ferris Wheel
Oirase National Park
Kiyomuzo Dera Temple
Hot Spring Bath
Ride a bullet train
Harry Potter World
Drink Matcha Tea
1. Mount Fuj
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